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README.txt

1. I blog what I like
2. No flaming
3. I appreciate friendliness
4. Fuck off if you don't like my attitude
The Blogger



CLARE ♥

I only befriend people who can accept the way I am. Cold yet emotional, complicated yet simple. I can don a thousand masks but I won't in front of those whom are close to my heart. I bake, I cook, I sing, I dance, I'm just any ordinary girl you can find. Drown me with Long Island Tea Without Coke for that's my love. Never try agitating me. I forgive easily but I do not forget. I really dislike people who bitch nonsensical stuff about me to others. You're just jealous, so go get a life or ask your Mom for one again. Oh yes, I'm not picky about food. But I do adore good food. I mean really good ones. I've learnt to live through the worst of life. So don't come preaching me.

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Saturday, January 31, 2009 ♥

ONLY IF YOU LIKE TO READ MY RANDOM RANTING POSTS

Been thinking alot recently, especially when it comes to relationships and stuff. I know it isn't the right time to think about all these due to all my over-the-edge-pressing deadlines and looming examinations drawing near. But you see, in his terms, shit happens. And precisely because shit happens, they led me thinking.

A whole load of shit has been happening and bestie, isn't having a great time herself either. My heart goes all out to her. But she is the one person whom made me believe a strong relationship can pull through anything.

I've always been thinking why most couples will feel awkward when either one of them keeps quiet but reassures that he/she is not thinking of anything negative or that he/she will not burst out crying in 0.172 seconds. I've always treated my relationship in a way whereby I know I can keep quiet yet feel at ease beside him, hoping that he will feel that way too. It is because I believe that there's no gap between us that we are so close as to just sit beside each other, simply relishing the presence of the other. But of course nobody will do this on every single date luh!

Let's just put it this way, in my relationship, I see no gap needed to be filled with words/sounds because silence is not awkward. It's the serenity, peace with oneself and the other, knowing that the both of us is as much in love as the other is. In reality, some will probably term it as "communication breakdown".

But communication may not be a good thing afterall. I've always thought I can express myself and put it through to the other person in a way I meant it to be. After awhile, I came to this realization that,

And all along, I am only voicing out my views instead of enforcing them onto someone else because I know for a fact that perspectives cannot be enforced or incorporated into another. I've always thought my command of language is not that bad. But I cannot explain why I cannot do this.

Have I digressed too much? I've been reflecting for days about my relationship, Clare as a GF, Clare as a person. And sometimes, I feel like I will gradually lose the real Clare as a person because I want to change for the one that I love. Because anything is worth it right? As long as BF will love me more, blablabla. But that is bullshit. That is being totally naive.

I know BF accepts me for who I am and I'm really thankful for that. Okay good game, my train of thought zoomed outta my mind.

I'm quite blank now cos' I haven't gotten enough sleep. I don't know why I'm going on typing but yeah. I'm sorry to whoever is reading this now cos' it's kinda pointless. I should go rant in my livejournal instead.

The whole point of this stupid ranting post is that,
" We are so close to each other honey, even just by sitting beside each other, there will be this inexplicably unique feeling between. Words is to understand what the other person is thinking and of course for basic communication. Words should not be used to cover up a silent awkwardness. "

Okay fine, the subject matter is: BF and me is that close to an extent we do not need irrelevant stuffs to fill any gap cos' there's no gap to start with. And I'm very happy about it.