1. I blog what I like
2. No flaming
3. I appreciate friendliness
4. Fuck off if you don't like my attitude

Can someone please tell me where to get this? It's Burberry Black Label. Any of these 2 also can. But I prefer the second one. I WANT ! #*()&*)^%(*@#*&$)(@#)*$%&(#@!FUCK.
):

Didn't go to school for a week and I feel like crap. Awwww, fuck. Went out with my family for dinner just now at some Japanese restaurant at Velocity. Don't remember the name of the place cos' I didn't bother. I swear I have super cute parents and I think they're damn loving. That's my Papa giving my Mama a massage. How sweet.

And they are like sharing the same seat reading the same papers.

That's my Tempura + Sushi set.

These photos were taken a long time ago. This is what will happen if you leave me alone with a laptop. Pictures of me will suddenly pop out in a new folder in your documents. I was too bored when BF was bathing.

He's trying to flash his ultra deep dimple again. Try harder Honey.
I went to the doctor's cos of my tummy that day.

• Clare: My stomach's hurting me. I think it's gastric but I have diarrhea.
• Doc: *Checks past records* Your menses haven't come yet?
• Clare: No.
• Doc: Do you have an active sex life?
• Clare: *stunned* Yeah, kinda.
• Doc: So do you always use contraceptives?
• Clare: Erm, no. Not really.

• ( Doc pressed my tummy here and there and it fucking hurts )

• Doc: *Serious expression, leans forward and stares at me* Can you do a urine test for me?
• Clare: FOR WHAT?!
• Doc: It's a pregnancy test.
• Clare: But my menses is only late for 3 days! Can I come back if it doesn't come in a week?
• Doc: This is a very serious matter. I still strongly advise you to take the test. Your menses is not here and you're complaining about tummy aches. Something may happen if you're really pregnant. Your baby may not be in the womb ....
• Clare: WHAT?
• Doc: *blabbers on*
• Clare: *fucking waste money* okokok, I take. *Damn it*

The next day, menses come. Together with my original tummy ache. Good game.
Doctors can do business too.
FUCK.

My post shall end here.

What do people usually do when they can't sleep and they cannot find anything to do? Fuck. I'm bored bored bored bored bored. I suck at entertaining myself and I suck at making myself sleep. I don't like this feeling. Hello night caps, here I come.

To get things right:

• I did NOT break up with BF Jeff. (:
• We had some nitty gritty that we have already smoothened out.
• We're busy with our own lives.
• He has work and I have school and work.
• Time is a super big issue to us.
• That was what made both of us down.
• It's hard to schedule time to meet each other.
• Much less to go out and have fun.
• That was why I said I have to learn to eat dinner alone in my previous post.

So, to all those out there who are concerned. Don't worry. We're like happily stuck onto each other. I know it sounds disgusting but we are. And really, thanks for asking anyway. (: I love all of you. And yeah, thanks Mandy.

I feel the blues kicking in. I think this marks the end of holidays and the end of all those surreal enjoyments that I had in the past 2 weeks. My whole world feels like it's whirling around, the whole city's sleepy and your brain can't function. It's like you feel like you're in a dream. Everything so blur and misty yet you know it's real. Jo says there's no time to feel blue cos' we have work to do. But, fuck it. I can't do a single work now. It's even more pathetic cos' I don't even have the time to cry. I'll find comfort somewhere on my sofa or something. At least hang on to my world while reality seeps in. Holding onto my world as I absorb the fact that our lives may be not be the same again. The fact that both of us sharing a life will be history. The fact that we will be leading separate lives.
Whatever so, it's annoying cos' it's worrying me so much that it will be detrimental to our relationship. As much as we have already smoothen out all those nitty-gritty, the issue of time is the one getting on our nerves. Then again, I'm such a emotional soul. For the next half a year, I'll be missing the past half. Those solitary moments we have alone. Those days when we belong to each other only. When we could have fun and fuck cared the rest of the world. So, when is it gonna happen again? We said we'll solve things as they come. But can we really do it?

Time is free, but it's priceless. You can't own it but you can use it. You can't keep it but you can spend it. But once it's lost, you can never get it back. Seems like I'll need time to teach me how to have my dinner alone again.

BF took this picture of me just before I get outta hse to work. I refused to get up from the sofa and insists on lying there.

Last weekend of my hols. Spent most of my hols working or sleeping or just slacking around with BF. Didn't really had any interesting stuff coming up. Is it cos' life's stable, that's why it's mundane? It's not that I want alot of activities planned for me nor is it about going out and having fun. It's just that when compared to the life I lead less than a year back, I realised that I've toned down alot ALOT. But that's a good thing, no?


Went down to Sentosa yesterday for some fun with the guys. Reached there around dusk and decided to swim around, play some soccer while waiting for Shafiq to come. So BF was buried and he kinda enjoyed it. He warned me not to post this photo up my blog cos' he looks like some ghost. But anyhow, I still did.
And the many hands working on him.I gave him a larger than huge dick.Left to right: BF, Mel, Fre, Just, Hariz, Fiq, ChunPing.

And I seriously think Hariz looks damn cute here.
Okay, school's starting again and attachment is coming up in September. Darn. Teo Keng Siang & Partners. Here I come.

Oh hello everybody. (: I'm like the happiest person on earth. No school shits, no friendship shits, no relationship shits, no work shits, no family shits. Life is carefree man. All you people are so jealous of the life I'm leading now. And there you are deluding yourself that you're as blissful as I am. When in fact you're :

• Frustrated over school/work
• Worried you are not doing well enough in school/work
• Pissed off by a friend /you're still tolerating it /you think you're stupid /you still tolerate
• Grumpy cos' your parents told you off/ nagged at you
• Just quarrelled with your other half
  
• Feeling terrible cos' you do not have one
  
• Deluding yourself that you're happier with a bunch of guys/girls
• Feeling guilty cos' you all broke up for some fucked up reason. Awwwwwwww
• Feeling sex deprived cos' you grind so much in clubs like you're some hot stuff and at the end of the day you have to get back to your bunch of guys/girls. Awwwwwww.
• Getting temporary happiness in clubs by grinding some opposite sex.
• Telling yourself you're not sexually deprived after reading the past 2 points when obviously the whole world thinks that you've an itchy pussy/dick.
• Thinking I'm sucha bitch saying all these.
• Refusing to admit that these are actually the truth.
  

I'm feeling happy cos' I'm not in any of those categories. I've a stable part-time job which pays me well enough. And I'm on holidays so I can fuck everything about school. I've a nice family that recently got a hamster. I've a sweet boy o' mine that comes down to Harry's alone for a beer just cos' I complained that I'm bored working there on a Sunday night. So he came down and I bought him beer and he sat there till I ended work. I'm like a pampered girlfriend. But who cares, it's like the first time I'm ever pampered.He finished giving tuition this morning and decided to irritate me and wake me up. And I've got huge eye bags that look even worse on the front camera of my kuku phone. I've got a sudden craving for Tom Yum and he suggested having steamboat.

So we went grocery shopping and bought helluva food that both of us cannot finish. We ate like 2 dinosaurs and I felt like a bean bag just now. Gosh, now I'm craving it again. There's still leftover Tom Yum Paste. WOOHOO.
I took this photo before going off to work on Sunday night. Imma happy, pampered kid without worries. I've nice friends, family and BF. (: I think I'm beautiful cos' I've sucha beautiful soul and a beautiful life. Not taking into consideration the fact that I scold random xiao meimeis and didis, customer service officers, telephone operators, cashiers, irritating bikers (those loser bicycle bikers). Okay, I don't have a beautiful soul afterall. But I like myself no matter what.
And I excel in soccer. They don't call me national defender for nothing. HAHAHAHAHAHA!
I'm self-delusional when it comes to this.

P.S: Jo darling. Put a freaking tagboard on your blog. I wanted to tell you how much I miss you the night before but I couldn't find you online and I couldn't tag on your blog either. Plus I lazy take my handphone cos' it was super far away. Anyway, I miss you I miss you I miss you. MONDAY! is coming soon. It's bad cos' it's school but at least I've got you and it works the other way round too. I KNOW IT. (:

Our secret haven. Sweet.
4-poster bed + chandeliers + garden chairs. Lovely.
Pretty lightings in purple.
Walls that makes me fill like a queen.
My love is sleeping and I'm bored.
Clare: Stop sleeping, get up and play with me.
Jeff: Emmmm, play what?
Clare: I dunno.
Jeff: Emmmm.......ZZZZZZZZ
Clare: -.-''''

So I stared at the ceilings and admired the lightings and the cupids.The cosy corner I set up for myself while he was still sleeping.

Even the shampoos are in potion bottles.
Our clothes and bathrobe.
And our random stuff.
Randomness: The feeling I get was inexplicable. When you turned around suddenly and rest your head in between mine and my shoulder. Your hot breath against my cool skin while sleep talking and telling me how much you love me. Haa, my silly love.

Life is so fucking unpredictable. You're up there for a moment and then you're down the next. There's this one guy who can manipulate my feelings as and when he likes. What more can I say? How well do you know a person when sometimes you feel like you don't even know him. Keeping quiet on the phone, holding on to it so tightly as if it will stop me from crying, sucks. It's another taste-your-salty-tears night for me again.

When that acidic feeling grips your heart so tight it hurts. Maybe I shouldn't think so much at all. It doesn't even help. But I can't help it.

FUCKING CB, I'M FUCKING BORED. FUCKING HELL. FUCK FUCK FUCK. FUCKING GIVE ME SOMETHING TO DO DAMNIT.

That photo marks the end of Euro2008 roving for Carlsberg. Had helluva fun while working with the girls and Mark. We've gotten used to be together as a team and when Euro kicked off last night, that was the end of our promotional campaign. Had fun drinking with the rest of the team after work, namely, all the Carlsberg people and of course Sarah babe. (:

Oh yes, this was taken by BF when I was having my facial. And I seriously don't think that mask look like Dota's Mask of Madness. HAHAHAHAHA.



Okay, start of holidays. But hols is packed with work for me and for him. Oh well.

P.S: I'm so glad how me and Xueli keeps our friendship going. Like how the both of us makes the effort to meet up with each other and understands the fact that we both will need time for our respective boyfriends. Life's so much better this way.

And I'm enjoying it. Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY EUGENE BRO! CONGRATS FOR JOINING CLUB 21. HAHAHAHA

REWIND, 36 hours ago
4pm = eating ba zhang + tao kae noi
5pm = trying to wake BF up
6pm = still trying to wake BF up
6.30pm = BF woke up
8pm - 11pm = soccer
12am= reach home
2am = lao sai
3am = blogging
4am = mugging
5am = go to sleep
7am = woke up
8.30am = reached school
8.50am = go in exam hall
9am = start writing
9.30am = headache + hand ache
9.50am = stare into space
10.03am = get out of exam hall
10.15am = looking lost outside exam hall
10.30am = still discussing paper
10.35am = waiting for cab + call BF
10.37am = knn fucking bitch snatch my cab right in front of me
10.43am = another one try to snatch my cab again. not so easy. fucking hell.
10.50am = met BF
10.55am = smoke smoke smoke
11am = walk to auntie's house
11.20am = start of facial
11.45am = screaming my head off
11.50am = BF can't stop laughing at me
12pm = time for mask
12.10pm = mask crack, fuck.
12.15pm = mask still cracking (VERY FUNNY MEH. MASK OF MADNESS)
12.25pm = take mask off
1pm = getting ready to go off
1.30pm = smoke smoke smoke
1.40pm = take cab
1.55pm = reach buona vista
2.30pm = stare into space holding on to a script
3pm = casting, acting like some sad woman
3.45pm = make my way to mrt
4pm = call xueli
4.30pm = fell down in the bus
4.35pm = meet xueli
5pm = smoke smoke smoke
5.02pm = FOOD FINALLY
6.15pm = reach home
7pm = knocked out
1.30am = jump up
1.31am = scold BF for not waking me up
1.45am = smoke smoke smoke
1.50am = cook charsiew and heat bak kut teh
3am = back on bed
4am = started to blog
4.15am = still blogging
4.26am = KNN. WHY STILL SO EARLY.

I want to sleep I want to sleep I want to sleep but I can't sleep.
Hello freedom, where is rest?

Have you ever wondered what is this person doing in your life?

I woke up and felt him next to me. That overwhelming feeling of familiarity yet a with a tinge of foreignness in it. That bugging, warm and heavy arm thrown across me, anchoring me to my bed. The heat that he radiated despite the surface coolness of his skin. This bugger was lying totally blissfully in my bed, my lil' oasis of happiness, still clinging onto me.

I heard the water running in my toilet, heard his habitual sneezing after he woke up. And there I was, making a honey drink for him. The domesticity of it made my thoughts seep back into reality, even though there was something surreal about it.

I stared at him as he tidied himself. The solitary life that I used to lead, with or without a guy, has totally changed, I enjoyed doing things at my own pace, to estimate the time I will need before I leave the house for school. Instead, there's this man in front of my dressing table, the most generous of any that I've ever met. He gave of himself in a way I had never expected, that unhesitating generosity that I've got from nobody else. Though I'm late, I can't possibly blame him for being part of my life, for messing up my routine, for being someone I have to consider about no matter what I do.

I'm used to walking, sleeping, going through my daily routine of brushing my teeth, going to the shower, using the dressing table, alone. And I didn't realise that for half a year, there's this guy leaving his presence everywhere around me. Didn't realise the fact that I've gotten used to utilising my toilet, mirrors and dressing table concurrently with someone else. The fact that I actually miss his presence before I fall asleep. The times when I feel that a queen sized bed is too big for me alone.

In this past few months, the frequency of me squeezing him next to a wall while we're walking on a narrow path has decreased with time. The frequency of me reaching out to pull his hand while we're crossing the road has increased. Now that I'm so used to living a life for two, I'm so afraid to go back to that solitude that I've used to embrace. The paranoia of losing someone who has found his way into your heart.

As I stared at him while he busied himself, fiddling with my hair dryer, making faces at me through my dressing table's mirror, the thought came to me randomly. "What is this guy doing in front of my dressing table? Of all the guys in the world, why him?" It struck me that I should thank whoever wrote the Book of Fate (as believed in ancient Chinese dramas).

If at that point in time, I didn't take the risk to venture further, more than friends. He may still be one of those that I'll go clubbing with as a group. He may be holding onto some other girl's hands and she will be the one protected in his arms rather than me. (Fuck, I'm getting jealous at the thought of it.) Then the guy that I'm staring at in front of my dressing table will not be him anymore. Who will it be? Ain't Fate an extraordinary bizzare and phenomenal thing?

Till date, I'm glad that we're the one who crossed each other's Path in Life. The fact that it's MY clothes in his closet, the fact that it's MY towel stashed in his closet, the fact that it's MY fragrance on his pillow, the fact that I'm the girl in his house, the fact that it's ME in his life. The fact that we can bathe, brush our teeth together, even pee in front of each other. It's such a pleasure acknowledging how comfortable we are with each other without the use of words.

4 pillows, 2 blankets, 1 bolster, 1 tissue box, 2 heads, 2 heartbeats, 4 entangled limbs with 1 love.
Yes, that's what I've got on my bed.

I so gotta study for my Company Law paper. Another 6 hours to it.
Jeffrey Ding, please cry after reading this post.

It's all about work, study and Honey. Yes woman, your Baileys is in my tummy that's why you can't find it. And that Tom Yum Tao Kae Noi aka Tae Koi Na was too superb so I finished the whole packet. Shall buy you one tmr. Please tell me you already finished studying Company Law. You're so screwed. AND AND, I can't go singing with you tmr cos' I've got a casting. WHY ARE YOU NOT ONLINE. Damnit.

Soccer's taking away my toes. Pffft. In another 10 hours, I'll get my freedom.
2 weeks holidays = 14 days; 5 days work = 9 days; sundays for family = 7 days.
I've only 1 week of hols. ):
Bloody fuck.

P.S: Xueli, I'm so sorry. I'm down with my studies this week. Shall meet you next next week. Loves.

FREEDOM, HERE I COME FOR YOU.
Time is so constrained and I'm glad I've my understanding girls standing by me.
And of course you too la BOYFRIEND.

I'll start this post with my favourite crazy dog. Who loves wrestling with me and biting my hand like it's some freaking bone.

He's in love with my boobs.
And my tissue which he dug out by sticking his head all the way into my bag.
He gave up wrestling with me. Obviously, I'm better at it.
Then comes my fave boy. Who's in love with IKEA's stuff. Like, the sofas and the pillows.
And needless to say, the food.
Look at him. GOSH.
Oh yes, and his favourite toy. Which is SUPPOSED to be a pleasant looking hand puppet frog.

I don't know what's wrong with my BF. Pardon my oily skin and pimples. Spot that one under my nostril. HAHAHA
And he insists that this is my family member.
See, my favourite boy. Again.
First, you act pretty.
Then, you act cute.
Lastly, you go crazy and spin.
My siao ding dong Boyfriend that I so love.
Here comes my favourite girl.
And those crazy times in class where I got caught eating by her camera.

Bliss is what you don't get with any other.


I love my J's. Jo, Jeff and Jick. Only the first and second knows who's the third. Anyway, school's a killer and I so gotta study. 5 more days. Then comes the temporary heaven. Can't wait for Tatami. It's gonna be you and me again Honey. Woohoo. Life is fucking everyone, yes. But hey, where is life when law exists? Damn.

Jo thinks everyone looks so happy with their lives while surfing through Friendster. And yes darling, those are just the flawless personalities that populate the Internet. To think again, why would people capture their sad moments when they are self-delusional and think that they're leading a carefree life? Ain't they just making others envy them for how they envy others.

Do not fall into their traps.