1. I blog what I like
2. No flaming
3. I appreciate friendliness
4. Fuck off if you don't like my attitude

It's my last day here at TKS. As much as I want to get ample rest and fun before I start mugging hardcore again, there's this sour grip on my heart. It's only been months but I already feel attached here.

The people here generally, ain't very nice. I mean, hey, if any of you're reading this, I'm just being really honest here. There's like this separation between the teams here and the disparity is so obvious. I can even say that they are of the two extreme ends. S's team is soooo nice you will fall in love with them. So I kinda envied Suquan & Lurvin who were sooo comfortably working there. Y's team is hectic and hyperactive in a bad way. Once the babbling/ bitching/ nagging/attitude starts, good luck to you. I may not bear grudges nor will I let them have a taste of their own medicine. I'll just prolly go home and start cursing to the max. But I would have to say, that some of them there are quite nice too.

There's this tinge of melancholy in me right now because I really will miss my lawyer. Wrote a Thank You + X'mas card to him and I hope he will like it. He's been more than just a fatherly superior or a friend. I treat him as my mentor and I think no intern will ever forget their first mentor. I've learnt so many things from him, ranging from law, to politics, to economics, to life and even to the way I should handle situations or people in the working environment. He's probably the only person I've talked to the most in this whole firm cos' I'm in the same room as he is and we always have alone time whenever we're at court waiting for our hearings.

I think I'll miss my room and my L-shaped table which I love so much.
I'll miss putting random stuff into my stationery holder and drawers.
Probably, I'll even miss boss's father whom never fails to offer me warm chinese tea in a miniature teacup when I'm freezing in my room. I call him Uncle and he calls me the Water Ghost (shui gui) in the room cos' he claims my hands are so cold like I'm some Water Ghost in the olden days.

All in all, my farewell lunch was superb and I probably ate a whole salmon fish away.
Yeah, the melacholy is still lingering somewhere in me just like the sweet after taste of Uncle's warm miniature cup of chinese tea that I've just drank.

2nd last day at work. Not feeling absolutely great though. Left office around 9pm last night, sheesha-ed with Eugene after that. After so long, I'm going clubbing on Saturday. Celebrating the end of SIP and Eugene's birthday. But if not for the 4 free invitations with free flow drinks and free make up. Probably we wouldn't have chose to club.

Whatever it is, I'm kinda cranky now maybe cos' I'm damn drowsy and I can't sleep in office. Gotta go for a musical after work later cos' boss gave me tickets there and I can't reject. I'll go home and crash and wake up to a new day. That's like the kinda lifestyle I had for months. I'm sorry I have no life and I'm boring you people out la.

What clubbing? What chillax? What shopping? What supper? Sorry lor, I gotta work lorrr.

Now that I'm gonna be free again. I'm suddenly lost. Yes, back to school. Then what? The 'having-fun' life sounds so hectic now. In the end what do you get there? Just wasting time and money with some temporary pleasure or one night stands maybe (that's for THAT kinda girls)? I mean of course, don't mention that there will be occasions that needs some celebrating and fun. Maybe it's just cos' I'm jealous that those meaningless, lifeless, aimless, no-brainer people can lead that kinda lifestyle.

Jealousy kills in both work and relationships.
At the least I know and we all know that I'm a tad better than them.
Tsk.

COUNTDOWN COUNTDOWN COUNTDOWN : 3 more days excluding today!

HONEYLOVE! I'M COMING! WAIT FOR ME!

Okay, let's see. I'll FINALLY have the time to upload my photos. Finally, I can blog about Bintan. I don't have to wake up at 7 every morning when the temperature is orgasmic. I can snuggle next to him and sleep all I want. I CAN MAHJONG WITH XUELI COS SHE'S MOVING IN 2 WEEKS LATER! I can go to the gym and start losing fats. I can play ping pong and badminton with BF. I can force him to swim with me. OH MY. There's so much stuff to do.

But most importantly, I gotta complete my report in 2 weeks which means I can't play as much as I thought.

HOWEVER, I've fun in stall for me. Like, having private invitations to Arena this Saturday (thanks to Jo) with Jo and Eugene to celebrate his birthday and the end of our near death experience aka, SIP.

987FM is giving away preview tickets to the movie Twilight on-site at 987 RSVP at The Arena, Clarke Quay. Come dressed as a vampire and stand a chance to win the grand prize of 1 x DVD Recorder and a years supply of movies at Shaw Theatres.

Free entrance, Free drinks, Free fun, Free time, Free dance, Free Jo, Free Eugene, Free Clare, Free-dom. =D

P.S: Should I use faux vampire teeth? HAHAHAHA. Shall psycho the rest to do that. Which Jo prolly will be strongly against. Then I'll make her drink and make sure she can't remember. I WANT a year supply of movies at SHAW! Damn it.

5 more days to go! (:
Hello Xueli, I'm free to meet again!
Hello Boyfriend, I've lots of time for you again!
Hello Jo, we can chillax all day and not worry about not being able to wake up again!

OMG OMG. I'm soooooo excited now. But anyhow, I'll miss some of the people there. Like Rave, my lawyer, who taught me alot alot alot of stuff. Etc etc.

AHHH! I don't have to worry about being late for work, don't have to detest taking the train and bus every morning to that bloody place. Best of all, I can drive to school everyday! Woots!

14:55
I don't know what have I done to her to deserve such attitude or such accusations. Seriously, I don't get it why she should be the one acting like this when it should be the other way round. It's more like I'm offended than she's offended. I have my dignity and I can hold my head high. I'm leaving this place in a week. I tahan. LL what, who ask me to me one small lil intern fry. Can't afford to offend, anything just tahan. No rights, no nothing. Give others order around, give others scold. I seriously don't give a fuck about whatever bitching will go on all I give a fuck about is my internship. I did my best and proved I could work. But if it's because of some "other-than-work" factors that affects my grade. I FUCKING GONNA THINK IT'S FUCKING UNFAIR. Why nobody spares a thought for pathetic interns?


09:30
I am very pissed with this particular someone. Tell me, why should I bear responsibility and expenses for a mistake that I did not make? So was it a mistake being a nice person and lending stuff to others?

It's freaking $120 for something I did not do. Anybody wants to enlighten me and tell me what to do? Fuck.

So now, the question that is put forward to me.

Am I a jealous person?

So, what actually is jealousy? Jealousy differs from envy. Jealousy is a complex reaction because it involves a wide range of emotions, thoughts and behaviour. In a positive way, jealousy heightens emotions, make love feel stronger and reminds ourselves not to take our partner for granted. However, jealousy may kill a relationship too if it leads to over possessiveness.

So what kinda girlfriend am I? I'd dare to say, I take jealousy in a positive way, if I'm the one being jealous of course. I'll take all jealousy and keep it within me, without even confronting my BF about it. Much less to mention, control his movements. I'll even use positive self-talk and tell myself that I'm such a loveable person and that BF respects me and is committed to me. But then again, why should I allow myself to slip into complacency? Temptation is abundant and everyone's susceptible to it. Bet you all have been thinking, why do I allow myself to be stuck in such an internal struggle. Because I love my BF and I want the best for him.

Days before, I came to this realization that, hey, this isn't healthy for me or my emotional stability. So I've been reading up quite alot. Maybe it's because I've been hurt more than once in my past relationships which is why my outlook on this is different from most of the girls. I even told my girls that guys will stray and it's only a matter of time.

Xueli almost killed me when I told her I'm prepared for that day to come. The day when my love has an affair with someone and the first and last time I'll ever forgive him. (Please don't think my BF is unfaithful cos' this post is just a random rambling.) Yes, I'm insecure in a way but I don't allow that part of me to surface. I don't wear it on my face. It's a torture keeping it in for some but I've learnt to accept it as a part and parcel of life.

Trust is an essential for a relationship but we often take it for granted that it will always be around. It's too easy to break and too difficult to rebuild it. So why break it in the first place? Affairs ain't only about sex. In fact, any intimate activity between two persons that breaches the trust of a partner constitutes an affair. I can be open and accept alot of things that my BF wants to do whereas to some, it's unacceptable. Simple things like clubbing alone with his guy friends, etc etc. But guys, girls, whoever out there. There’s always a boundary to what you can do and what you should not do when you’re in a relationship. (Note: I didn’t say what you CAN’T do but instead I said what you SHOULD NOT do. But that’s just my way of handling my own relationship, you guys don’t have to agree with me.)

Ending this annoyingly boring post, I'll differentiate the 4 different types of affairs.

• The boat-rocking affair - when one partner has an underlying dissatisfaction with the relationship. The affair is an unconscious way of drawing attention to the problem and bringing things into the open.
  
• The exit affair - when an affair is used to get out of a relationship. Rather than confront the fact that a relationship isn't working, an affair forces the issue.
  
• The thrill affair - the illicit nature of an affair brings with it an adrenaline rush. Add to that the excitement of sex with someone new and the romantic trimmings of a fresh relationship, and it can seem irresistible.
  
• The three's company affair - can go on for years; it can also describe a string of successive affairs. Some people find it difficult to commit to one person; they feel stifled by monogamy and fear putting all their emotional eggs in one basket. Having a third person on the scene can provide an outlet for difficult emotions.

And how we can go about avoiding it.

• Be open - honesty is the key to avoiding affairs. Share any temptations with your partner and agree to support each other.
  
• Be close - build and maintain emotional and sexual intimacy in your relationship. The closer you are, the stronger you are.
  
• Be smart - don't slip into complacency: everyone is vulnerable to temptation. (This was what I was talking about)
  
• Be alert - if you find yourself feeling attracted to someone, take action to avoid getting any closer.
  
• Behave - if you'd describe yourself as a natural flirt, remember: if you don't want to get burned, don't play with fire.

I'll always joke on my blog that I'll kill whichever girl that dares to get my guy. But we all know that's not possible at all. On a serious note, I won't stop him from going out late in the night, won't stop him from clubbing, won't stop him from contacting girls. I won't kill whoever. I'll just make it plain simple.

If you have the guts, go ahead.

well, hello. this is Jo making a special appearance on Zhar Bor's daily musings. I'm from Jurong, born with two parents on a good day, none on a bad. Was brought up along with Jesus, Mother Mary and the Holy Spirit. Attended a school in the neighbourhood and now, a wayward friend of Clare.

Being a friend of Zhar Bor is one thing. Spending time with her is another. Leaving her would be disastrous. Like how the Bees will always stick to their Honey, I thank my lucky stars Zhar Bor is like an overflowing pool of Honey available while I'm like the one pathetic overweight Bee left behind in the big big forest.She's just got an abundance pool of love, boob hugs, kisses and smackerools to keep me alive and kicking.

Enough of carrying your balls Zhar Bor.

This Zhar Bor here showed me time and time again that being unglam is part of her whole package. And she made me feel a tad less guilty about my dirty little secrets. (fucking unglam can).

She carries an air that leaves guys feeling powerless and dare I say, breathless while carrying an oxygen tank, restoring their breathing after flashing her megawatt smile (oh, no. She should be still taking their breath away). OK, maybe after flashing her megawatt smile, mouths a "hello darling" with her saucy lips.

Is it me? or am I looking like I'm penning an article for Maxim.

Right. How apt, cuz Gavin Jasper's Pretty Woman is on my playlist.

Zhar Bor.. Where do I even start telling you guys about spending a moment with her?

Bintan PreviewA moment of peaceful luxury.

Alcoholic in me starts to surface.

Had my eye on one.

Bintan fever.
I love my hubs.And my girls as well.

And now, I'm gonna fall asleep in office. My day didn't start off right. More than half of me wanted to go over to BF's house to crash. Circumstances taught me otherwise. Full post on Bintan will come up soon. As soon as I've got all the right pictures.

17:11
Gong Li a Singaporean now? Hmmmm.
http://sg.news.yahoo.com/rtrs/20081110/tap-gongli-citizenship-c3bb44c.html

So... I just walked into my lawyer's room and asked:
"Mr Teo, we just received the fax from the client that came in last Thursday."
"What thing? I don't know."
"You know, the client that came last Thursday, that Y*****t Place (confidential)"
"Aiya, I don't know la. Then what you want me to do? You go handle the case as you deem fit."
"Huh? Orh, okay."
And then, once my ass touches my seat,
"CLAREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~"
I went nbcbwtfknnpcblpb : (smiles) "Yes?"
"They pay money already not?"
"Haven't, they say they will pass us the cheque shortly"
"Then okay lor, we also tell them we will attend to their case shortly. Get money then do."

BUT I STARTED ON THE CASE ALREADY!

What a nice day.


16:35
Good game. I'm stuck at my desk busy juggling between cases for one of the client that came in last Thursday and doing up the submissions, AEICs and list of documents for another client who'll be coming in tmr. Just at this juncture, J came in a threw me a new case. WOW, how great. (editted cos' I decided I was too mean) I'm an au-naturale hypocrite.

11:25
I'm ordering Canadian Pizza cos' my tummy monster is growling now. Extra large for $38.90. Think it'll be enough for 5? Shall steal someone else's share. It better come at 1pm sharp cos' apparently, according to the operator, EVERYONE is ordering pizza due to the hardcore rain.

10:06
Just got back from Bintan last night. Haven't got enough rest yet but I rushed to work anyhow. Took a cab all the way that burned a hole in my pocket. I'm at peace with myself, feeling relaxed and prolly a lil drowsy in office now.

Bintan - The spa was great. The place is superb with the right ambience, a quiet calming sanctuary indeed. The people there are so nice, the service was of quality class. Was greeted with traditional dance and drums when we arrived, gave us small glasses of fruit punch for us to quench out thirst. Left our baggages at the hotel before making our way around the lil resort. Pasar Oleh Oleh was crap. Totally nothing there, most of the shops were selling the exact same things. Went for the spa before checking back into our hotel. Rested a lil and went for buffet dinner. King sized bed with loads of love through the night. Bath tub dipping in the wee hours of the night. Missed continental buffet breakfast. Damn it. Checked outta hotel and left baggages there still. Walked over to beach resort for some food, wanted to try out watersports, decided that we will do that the next round cos' the weather wasn't friendly. Went back to hotel for some jacuzzi and chillax-ed at the pool bar, literally, cos' the bar's in the pool itself. Washed up and headed to fatory outlet, this time with our baggages. Got myself a dress, a polo, a pair of PJ shorts in satin material (orgasmic), pair of shades and pair of slippers. Still, I didn't spend more than one-quarter of what BF spent back in Singapore. (:

Decided, the next time round, we shall not spend so much on spa itself. Enough to cripple, yet not enough to kill. Damn it.

Pics will be up tmr. (:

P.S: Shall think of how I'm gonna sleep in office without being found out.

09:09

Hello blog, I've nobody to talk to in office cos I'm stuck in a room alone and my msn gossip buddy cum coursement is on mc today. ):

• Got off the wrong side of the bed, not literally of course.
• Slept while bathing until I poured a whole tub of cold water over myself after my hot bath. (Don't ever try doing it)
• Was still sleeping while I was blowing my hair dry.
• My make up regime luckily, consists of just 10 mins.
• Ironed my clothes and nearly ironed my fingers.
• Rushed outta hse.
• Brisk walking up a slope while smoking ain't an easy task.
• Got onto a cab to Serangoon.
• About to get off when I realised my pouch disappeared, or was never there to start with.
• Asked uncle to U-turn back hom.
• Decided I didn't have enough time.
• Called Lurvin to save me.
• Cabbed all the way to work.
• Luckily I was early, so it was only $18.90.
• So now I don't have cash!
• But I have credit cash with debtors on hand.
• So Jo was the suay one cos she's the first person I called.
• I'm freezing cold in here, why is this room getting colder and colder? ):

Was viewing one of my ex's profile, glad that people do mature and do grow up. I hope.

Shall update again later.

A DAY AT WORK

09:43
I'm freaking hungry now. I think I'm gonna faint. I miss my BF I miss my bed. I miss snuggling up to his warm body early in the cool morning. I think I'm having depression in office. I hate my room. The walls are so white they are glaring at me. Hey, but at least I got a room nto a cubicle. Why the fuck am I complaining? Damn it.

10:05
I suddenly feel so bad. I've been spending TOO much money. 3 digit sum gone in 2 days without a reason why. I think my BF hates me. He's gonna confiscate all the money. He won't allow me to buy stuff anymore. He's gonna scold me if I keep taking cab. I'M SORRY HONEY!

For now, I need a smoke and a curry puff from that Indian stall downstairs.

11:10
I finally got my smoke and curry puff. Now I need BF and my bed.

14:14
I managed to survive till lunch. Had Lor Mee with Jo and the rest. Met a client before lunch and was busy interpreting to her in Chinese. Wasn't an easy task to do when half of my mind was asleep. Now I'm back in this white room. Fuck, I'm falling asleep.

15:04
I'm so excited about the Bintan trip now. You all are just so jealous I'm going with BF for a super short lil honeymoon. Weeee. SPA SPA SPA. Confirmation letter!

Name : Ms. Clare
Date of Spa Treatment : November 8th,
2008
Time of treatment : 1.00 PM – 3.00 PM (Bintan Time)
No of person :
1 Persons
Treatment Type : 120 min session Glow Package (90min Treatment & 30min calm time)
Special Request :
Payment Method : On Guest’s own account (S$ 159.84 )
Name : Mr. Jeff
Date of Spa Treatment : November
8th, 2008
Time of treatment : 1.00 PM – 3.00 PM (Bintan Time)
No of
person : 1 Persons
Treatment Type : 90 min session Power Back (60min Treatment & 30min calm time)
Special Request :
Payment Method : On Guest’s own account (S$ 106.56 )

certainly, he can stay in the treatment
room untill you finish for your treatment, and i will put for both of you in the
couple treatment room. Looking foward to welcoming you boths in our spa soon.

Regards
Emelda

WOOHOO! Couple treatment room with half hour calm time! I'm gonna meditate in there facing the sea. You girls are just so jealous of me. I'm gonna laugh at how BF will react to paraffin. Hot wax sounds kinky. Lucky it's in the same room, if not I'll kill whichever woman who touches my honey. (Obviously I don't mean just massage kinda touch, y'know touch, TOUCH?)

Back to work, another client's coming in half hour's time. Damnit. I'm shivering like a penguin. Or do they not shiver? Shall google it. I shall make use of the Upapa and the Usqueeze in the conference room.

Bintan trip has been changed to just me and BF. Gotta thank Jo by officially declaring here, that she’s the bestest person on earth whom I love so much and hate so much at the same time. Jo love, I know you want to dive headfirst into Singapore River or jump into the MRT track for that. Please note that, it is really really okay and that I still love you all the same. (:

Friday night was fun, drinking at Backyard, together with fun new people and my 2 loved ones. Too bad Xueli can’t come. Jo, please organize more of such sessions. Maybe make it a little more budget-ish one, like all of us bringing stuff over to your place or something like that. Can’t afford too much of that every week! We'll prolly be broke, given both of our expenditures on ciggs and my expenditure on cabs.

In order to make it up to you, I’ll offer myself, some alcohol and a Karaoke set next Friday. How does that sound to you? If not, we can get an MC together this coming Monday, and sing our lungs out somewhere. Or indulge in a ongoing mahjong session from morning till evening. :D WEETS.

Saturday night was hilarious. I didn't know why I'm so high on that night, watched Tropic Thunder with BF and played stupid arcades games. Topped up so much into that Tapz card and realised they don't have OUTRUN!

Went jogging yesterday with cousie. Dropped parents and sis home then drove over to Karen's for my sport shoes that were left there for like I don't know how long. Of all places, we chose to drive to IMH and jog. It's eerie and scaryyyy. Could hear screaming in the middle of the night, from the patients la not whatever you guys thinking.

I swear my BF hates me now. I've been spending his money like water. I feel so bad! Somehow my accounts can't balance and I don't understand as to how I managed to spend so much in 4 days buying nothing. I'm gonna be nice and treat him to a SPA. I'm such a nice girlfriend -laughs in self denial-

Oh oh oh, something random. JO! I just realised that you're the first person, other than my BF, to get money outta my atm! WHY DID I LET YOU KNOW MY PIN CODE. But yeah, as if you'll steal from me. And I know my atm card damn kuku. But hey, it's an antique. LOR MEE LATER! Now we know, lor mee will sell finish by 5pm everyday.

Because Jo doesn't have internet in her office, I'm gonna copy and paste this and email to her. (She can only access her schroders mail through Intranet) noob eh?

25 days left to the end of internship. Deducting the no. of days for weekends and 1 MC left for me, 18 days left! Jo, reverse bungee is awaiting for you, we'll go club somewhere, open a chalet with BF and Xueli, mahjong, drink, eat, sleep, mahjong, drink, eat, sleep. For 3 days 2 nights. Just the 4 of us, cos no changing of mahjong kaki allowed. Do or die. (:

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!

I love my BF and my GFs LOADS. omgomgomgomgomg. I have no idea why I'm so high when I'm stuck in a room all by myself. I'm gonna skip around the office. CIAO!

P.S: I know I know, my posts lacks of pictures. Soon, soon!
P.P.S: HAHAHAH! I REALLY UPDATED ONCE IN A MONTH. I'm sucha loser.
P.P.P.S: BF, ARE WE GONNA CLUB OR NOT! If not I'll spend Friday night packing our bags to Bintan!