Monday, March 31, 2008 ♥
Hello everybody, I'm bored and tired yet high at the same time. BF's in the shower now and I don't know what else to do while waiting for him so I'm here. WEETS. Went to M'sia for some tomb sweeping thing on Saturday. I was forced there, so yeah. The whole trip only lasted 13 hours. Drove there at 3am and got back around 4am. Traffic from the other side of the road looks horrible when we got back. Why the hell would Mas Selamat travel at such peak periods if he's in the right state of mind?! Gosh.
Took some pictures there cos' I'm so fascinated by the vast amount of land/mountains dedicated to be filled up with dead bodies. YES, I'M GOING TO KFC NOW COS' BF IS OUT. I HEARD HIS TOILET DOOR OPEN AND NOW HE'S BEHIND ME. I'M DAMN HIGH.
GOODBYE and I'm not talking sense. I KNOW.
Friday, March 28, 2008 ♥
Everytime I think about those times it breaks my heart and fills my eyes. Now I just hate myself for bothering about you and your life. It's like whatever that is said to me is superficial and said for the sake of saying. I'm gonna continue indulging in my kickass superb cabernet sauvignon and merlot and not give a fuck over whatever that is happening to those who don't have me in their eyes, hoping it will allow me to have a good sleep and chase my insomnia away. That was a long sentence. Maybe I'll opt for some early morning jogging if my first option don't work out. Bye world. You're hated by me for now.
Some expired photos, taken while we were super duper bored. The rest are unsorted ones taken at Fiq's gig at The Arts House.
Through these 2 months or so, I've learnt not to care. There ain't no point. It's not worth it.
There ain't much stuff to do nowadays anymore. Everyone seems to have their own lives. I'm only around to listen and console instead of having fun just cos' I'm attached. What logic is this? Maybe as what Shawn has said, attached people are always busy cos' of their attachments. So, at the end of the day, Clare is not that important or one and only anymore.
Through these 2 months or so, I've learnt not to care. There ain't no point. It's not worth it.
It's not a good thing to learn how not to be independent. Now I'm over reliant and I don't really like it. Not that I can't survive alone. I still can manage doing some stuff alone, like shopping, studying and stuff like that. It's just that there's this weird feeling like something's not in place when I'm having dinner alone or when my phone doesnt ring. It seems like, in a short period of time, you've managed to make a huge impact in my life and imprint yourself deep within me. School's starting soon for you and I bet I'm gonna have a hard time adjusting myself to that change.
This is fucking saddening.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008 ♥
I'm getting naggier day by day. I think being sick makes me ponder over endless stuff while I'm lying on my bed trying to get some sleep, yet distracted by the pain. I've so much to say yet I don't know where to start.
I love my boyfriend. I never understood how I can never fail to miss his presence though we just left each other for a few minutes. The one that haunts my mind everytime I try to fall asleep. I never managed to get rid of him. It's annoying yet I like it. I love everything about him. Like, simply everything. Every lil inch of his physical being, from his almost hairless legs to that pair of hands that cups my chin and the side of my face so perfectly. It's almost magical whenever he holds my face that way.
How wonderful it is to have someone around to hold onto you when you feel all weak and helpless. It sucks being a sick cat and I'm so grateful I've Jeff around. It's wonderful to have someone kiss every inch of my face hoping my pain will go away. It's wonderful to have someone hugging me so tightly from the back and kissing my back non-stop when my tears flowed endlessly while I curled up in agony. It's wonderful to rest my cold cheeks on his warm hands that very moment. I knew even if I faint at that very moment, he'll be around.
Thank you Honey, for always being one call away, for making feel safe when I'm at my weakest. I felt so bad when I looked into your eyes that day. I know I caused you heartache and I caused you to be worried but the pain was unbearable. I could see that flicker of panic in your eyes no matter how you try your best to keep it from me. I'm sorry love. Thanks for not sleeping and rushing me to the doc's at the fastest speed possible. I don't want to be too naggy here, shall do it privately instead. (:
I love you BF.
Saturday, March 15, 2008 ♥
I'm so not in the mood to mug anymore. And I have no idea why. I know it shouldn't be like that. But what should it be? I don't know what's got over me. This is not what I want but what the hell do I want?
Oh fuck. Maybe I went overboard. It's time for some reflection.
Thursday, March 13, 2008 ♥
Went for a lil getaway with BF. While waiting for the ferry.
Poor tummies were rumbling once we reached there. So we went to have a meal.
The view from our room in the middle of the night.
We slept like 2 dead logs and woke up in the middle of the night. Decided to go for some midnight jacuzzi. That's my man in the background. 
I was struggling to stay warm in the water.
Went back and fell deep asleep before waking up n the afternoon for some cycling. Made our way around the lil island. Rode past bumpy roads, beautiful sceneries, pretty flowers, in the pouring rain.
Saw this lil temple. I think it's damn cool.
And that's our bikes in the background.
Went back and took a bath in that lil outdoor shower.
Now you understand why I have an irritating BF.
And you're right. I'm an alcoholic GF.
Took a ferry back. 
The end. Too tired to add on anything right now. Shall update again. Ciao ppl.
Saturday, March 08, 2008 ♥
" You often meet your destiny on the road you've taken to avoid it. "
How true. Went to watch Leap Years with BF just now and this quote really got me. Strolled around and sat outside AMK Mrt station, staring into space, appreciating each other's presence. Started chatting and thought of how we used to be months back. It's true when he reminded me that many things in life are unexpected.
I used to ask God for a relationship that I've always dreamt of. I used to ask for the kinda perfect boyfriend every girl wishes for. Until a point in time, I stopped asking. I never dared nor wanted to ask for anything more. I didn't want to love or get myself tangled in those complicated situations. Then the unexpected happened and we all knew what it was. The irony is that I've never even asked for it. (:
Through our journey in love, we should have come to realize that what's meant to be will find a way. There's no point in asking for too much or trying too hard to look for that other half. Don't be afraid to be alone nor hurry in such stuff. As the Chinese always say, "More haste, less speed." So good luck people, especially WS. Always emo over such stuff. (:
Capturing memories, taking pictures without a camera. Taking in the frame in front of me, your silhouette at the corner of my eye, the feelings between us that only both of us can understand. My favourite picture is that of you in your dark green polo tee with that nervous expression streaked across your face. It's a lil secret between the both of us and those close to us. Now you know why I dig strolling along the streets in the middle of the night hands in hands.
Yes BF I agree with you. It's great to be in love, with you.
Friday, March 07, 2008 ♥
Hello. I was super duper bored and cranky last night. Wahahahaha. I'm sorry people for the outrageous use of vulgarities. Celebrated Daddy's bday yesterday. Woke up in the afternoon and drove down to Toa Payoh to get groceries for Daddy's cake. I hate the rain, had to drive through flood and I'm damn angry. Went home and baked Strawberry Blackforest for Dad.
I love you Daddy. (: Drove down to Jalan Besar for some simple dinner. I totally dig this Hokkien Mee.
Then drove home and started to rot. I got sooooooooooo bored I nearly died. 
That explains. And I randomly found a photo that I've taken a year back. 
Pretty RIGHT?!?!?!??!?! HAHAHAHHAHA. And I found a photo of my Mom and Dad while they were 'Pak Tor-ing' 
They look damn cute in shades. And I think I look alot like my Mom. OH HELLO COUSIE IF YOU'RE READING MY BLOG. LOOK AT YOUR BLOODY GREEDY FACE STARING AT MY BIRTHDAY CAKE WHEN I WAS 2. YOU'VE BEEN AIMING MY FOOD SINCE YOUNG AND YOU THINK I DIDN'T KNOW!? Okay sorry, I'm bored. Hahahahahahahahahahaha. 
And I know I'm super fat. And BF can't stop laughing at my baby photos. VERY FUNNY MEH?!
Didn't go anywhere today. Met up with BF and went grocery shopping while deciding what to cook for dinner. Randomly walked past pineapples and he thought of pineapple rice. So pineapple rice it was. Got whatever we needed and headed home to cook. I cooked the pineapple rice while he got busy with his mashed potatoes. Had dinner and went for late night badminton at 11.30pm. Headed home after that cos' I feel damn sticky and I couldn't take it anymore. Woots. I love you BF, we're such healthy, homely creatures these days.
To MANDYBABY:
You know I'm always here no matter what aite. Go read whatever I've said to you on MSN. I'm always around to lend you my shoulder, talk to you, listen to your complains. I'm kinda happy actually that I'm still the one you called. I don't care how many BABYs, GFs or whatever you have. You're still my one and only BABY aite. (: LOVES AND LICKS
Wednesday, March 05, 2008 ♥
I'm so so so so fucking fucking fucking fucking pissed at I don't know what and I'm so fucking fucking effing angry. FUCK. Fucking crankiness. I don't like. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. There's nothing around me to let me vent my anger on. Fuck fuck fuck. ftw.
Monday, March 03, 2008 ♥
It's been a long time since I've spent a quiet holiday without drinking or clubbing or anything of that sort. I've been spending time, almost all my time with my beloved and everyday's enjoyable. We've been taking turns going to each other's cribs to chillax and spent our time decomposing into each other's arms on our sofas.
BF came over to my place today. Watched DVDs, Mom and Dad cooked and we our whole family had dinner together. I drove them and BF over to my Grandma's and we all slacked there. BF can't stop laughing at all of us cos' my family's too cute. Everyone's holding on to something to munch while we sat around to chat and watch TV. It's the first time I brought MY boyfriend to my Grandma's and it feels a lil funny. Maybe it's cos' no cousin of mine ever brought a bf/gf there before that's why.
I think Dad's damn cool cos' he kinda 'ordered' BF to join us for dinner and Grandma's. That's how it works in a family when your Dad's a naval officer. Came home and watch DVDs again, this time with a glass of wine. Oh gosh. This is life. It's one more week to our lil getaway. I know I've been repeating this. But I'm really excited about it.
TAKECARE AND REMEMBER TO MISS ME AND ENJOY YOURSELVES: MandyBABY, WillieBUDDY, ChanelBIRD, DerrickNG.
Some expired photos of me before the CNY haircut.
That's BF at Maxwell Market's Hum Jing Peng stall. Before his haircut too.
WEETS. I love you BF.