i'm happy when i'm not at home. i'll cry the moment when it's quiet at home. why? cause there's no more noise at home. not even a single sound except for myself. no more nicky's barking, the sound of his nails against the floor, his whimpering, the sound of him drinking water or eating his food. every single trace of him is gone. totally.
that little corner in the kitchen where we'll place newspaper for him to
the house is so quiet now that i hate it. it's as if nicky never existed before. why is nobody crying except for me? why is everyone so emotionless? why is everyone acting as if nothing happened? its a death of a family member. HELLO ~ ?
nicky, i miss u. its hard to part. so goddamn hard. others whom lost their dogs told me that their dogs died with the eyes closed. why are yours open? i can't help but wonder. ah ma says you should just learn to let go. she told u that long ago when you first started to detoriate. mum told you that too. why didn't you listen? i can't forget the way you look when you're
how can i ever bring myself to say all this in front of anyone? how can anyone understand the pain, the loss, the anguish that i'm going through? they havent been through it. how can they know?
my sis's rabbit will never make up for the loss of you, nicky. you're irreplaceable in my heart. even though jie bought the rabbit, i still cared most for you. you know it dont you? i'm not getting a dog anymore. i hate this feeling. and i believe in reincarnation. heaven, whoever, whatever, whatsoever. bless nicky to be a human next time. he's nice. really nice. he has a nice temper, and he never bites anyone (after being whacked by my papa when he was 3 years old ) except for those who tries to steal somethings from my house. he never barks for nothing. he follows my papa everywhere. he has done his best as a domestic dog. no other dog will be as good as him.
i know it's hard to get over it. i need at least a few weeks. sigh. quiet house.
nicky, i love you .
its 21st december 2006 . i'll rmb this date for life. nicky passed away this morning. my good old dog cum friend. always cry to him whenever i'm down and he never fails to give me warmth. i'll have nobody to cry to at home anymore. sighs. he was struggling for the past few months. i know. it's hard on him. but it's harder on us to opt for euthanasia. so we didnt. at least he passed away naturally, in his own home that he stayed throughout his life, on his fave 'snoopy' mat, wrapped up in his fave green blanket.
this was how frail he was before he died. sighs. 17 years 9 months old dog. daddy woke up at 8 and found out that he wasn't breathing. everyone woke up. daddy wrapped him up in his fave green blanket and lay his fave 'snoopy' mat in a cardboard box and lay nicky in it. daddy even wrapped it up. sighs. can't imagine my good dog, my good friend in this small lil box. fuck.
i hate this feeling of losing something so important. something that was with you for your whole life and you didn't realise it's existence is so important until it's gone. okay fuck. my tears gonna flow non stop again. i'll blog again. not in a very good mood to blog now. =x
anyway, nicky was sent to mount pleasant animal hospital for cremation this morning.
ps: nicky, wherever you are, i hope that you'll be happy. we all love you very much. yes. my one and only pet dog. loves & misses for life.
i'm back from m'sia!! haha. after 4 days of fun! =) i went to m'sia on sat morning, a day after my exams.
1st day - 16th dec
i didnt take pictures on the 1st day. we went to ipoh to find my aunt there . shopped through out the day, ate seafood at night. chilli and black pepper crab . the night before i was eating crab at lg's hse too. haha! stayed at a bungalow. it wasnt quite well furnished cause my relatives bought it for i-dunno-what and they dont stay there. nevertheless, cousin and i slept like 2 lil pigs at the 3rd storey.
2nd day - 17th dec
we shopped abit and travelled down to one of the outskirts of kl and visited my other aunt. lead a kampong life there. went to eat seafood -again-
perfect place for enjoyment of seafood right! =)
the scenery around the place. 
that's me and cousin. we look tired. of cos we are.
and for those who naively thinks that the water is so purely blue. let me show you , its NOT.
i LOVE this baby (qiqi) and i changed diapers for her! my god ! i swear i'm gonna have one this cute in future. =x
and so; we spent our night at my aunt's place and set off early in the morning the next day.
3rd day - 18 dec
we made had a 2 hour journey to the central of kl and visited my grandpa at the old age home there . took a few pics of the scenery .
monsoon season. 
kl tower ~
okay. so we went for a sauna cum jacuzzi session.
we then went for a very SHUANG steamboat (finally not seafood) dinner here. 
went back to the hotel and went to the bar for a drink with cousin. i had tequilla sunrise and she had bailey's with milk. we then settled for a flaming lamboghini before goin back to our room.
and so, my tequilla sunrise. 
and our bill. cheap.
4th day - 19 dec (today)
the day we checked out of micasa. with our rooms in a mess.
me, cousin and sister's room
the 'living room'
the 'kitchen and dining room'
my parent's room (with half naked daddy readin newspapers)
and this is the small lil jacuzzi that cousin and i enjoyed ourselves in. cool!
anyway , i'll continue postin tml or some day soon cos some pictures are with cousin .
pictures taken long ago :
- the sweet couple [ wen & chelle ]
me , kor & mei outside paragon -
von in the neoprint machine -
me & von - taken in burberry -
the cake i baked for her -
and PLS dont tell me sorry. in the first place dont fuckin make me angry. and i'm not gonna be appeased easily ANYMORE .
period.
