1. I blog what I like
2. No flaming
3. I appreciate friendliness
4. Fuck off if you don't like my attitude

I switch off lights,
Hoping to catch some sleep tonight.
I'm so afraid to think,
Of all the small little things.
I'm so afraid of you,
Tears form like morning dew.
They fall on my pillow,
Like the rain outside my window.

Copyrighted, Clare.

Something I penned to express.

The sun has fell,
I wanna rest well.
Yes it's time to sleep,
I told myself not time to weep.
I miss your touch so much,
So bad my stomach lurched.

I close my eyes,
And I hear my cries.
I hear you singing,
I thought I was dreaming.
I hear you whistling,
So much it just gets annoying.
I see so many of you everyday
It makes me feel like I'm crazy.
Fantasizing you will be mine,
I threw that idea to the back of my mind.

Bittersweet memories,
Etched somewhere in my biological diaries.
I stroll around aimlessly,
I cry alone at the back alley.
It hurts so much I reprimand my heart,
Why does it refuse to budge.

I walk the route we use to take,
It was such a big mistake.
I see us strolling hand in hand,
I saw our shadows reflected by the lamps.
I see us laughing,
I see us hugging.
I see the lips I so wanted to kiss,
The many chances that I have missed.
Then you disappear,
Like as if you were never near.
So I was left alone,
To take the my own journey home.

Questions left unanswered,
But why should I fluster.
Words left unsaid,
Why am I crying for your sake.
It's better this way you say.
The words that repeated as I lay.
Convinced that your decision will not revert,
I will still be here, but,
Hurt.

Copyrighted, Clare.

It was, 3 words and a question why.
I thought I could control it. I really thought I could.
So, why does it hurt so bad?
I'm now lost for words in a ocean of questions why.

Law Inc Exco at Law Fraternity Games 2007. I bathed and changed outta my stinky law shirt. Spot my red bob. Gosh. I didn't know it was sooo red.
Manly Clare in Action. Woohoo. The one in pink is my lecturer-teammate.

I'm like damn tired now. But I've gotta wait for my hair to dry before sinking my head into my pillow. I went for Law Fraternity Games today and damn, it was tiring! I played soccer against the super pro teams from NUS, SMU & Law Society. It was a last minute decision so we had no strategy no nothing. Impromptu's the sex.

We played under the scorching, blinding sun and we played rough. I went shin on shin, ankle to ankle, knee on knee, boobs on boobs, elbows on elbows with them. The best part was whacking the ball and then collide with the opponent and then I somersaulted/rolled/fell over her and slid against the floor. Yes ouch. Abrasions, old knee and ankle injuries, dented shin, alot of blue blacks and covered with dirt. But at then end of the day, I kinda enjoyed it. It was real fun laughing at my team mates and our NOOBiness compared to the PROs.

Oh yes, did I mention I played badminton too. It's been a long time since I had such fun doing healthy stuff. (: But I've the critical battery sign on plastered across my face already. Like hello, I slept at 6am and woke up at 9.30am to do such shiats. I think, Clare's the MAN today. Woohoo~!

And yes Kannan partner, I really think I can switch to Psychology instead of Law. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

It's Sunday tomorrow and I haven't bought my Conveyancing Law text yet! omfg. How am I supposed to complete my work by Monday?!

WHO SAYS GIRLS CAN'T BE AS GOOD AS GUYS HUH?!

Thought like since I had so much free time now cos' I can't get to sleep at all. I might as well blog before GF starts nagging at me again. I'm feeling like a pussy-wussy cos' Daddy's not in Sg. Like a house with 3 women from different generations. Whoa hao, good lords.

Then I met Eugene (a different one) and Charles for a drink at No.5 then buffet at Sakura instead of Vienna. I know we look like twins.My First Day of School:

Went over to Marina Square for Law Inc's meeting. Had lotsa hours to kill before the meeting. Spent the time driving to Ikea for Meatballs, Cavana's for the hot plate thingy, Changing Appetites to curb our chocolate craving.

Frankenstein Mudpie

I forgot what's this. But it's nice.I think I'm in love with Changing Appetites. I should be a member. I'm like there every week.

Modelled for Monsoon again yesterday at the opening of their Academy at Mosque Street. I swear the people are really friendly when you get to know them better (:

The Dragon thingy. Which I think is hilarious.

The opening ceremony.

That's LeePeng, Sharon and me.

Sharon, Leepeng, Mark Lee, Me and Ceresa.LeePeng and Me.GF's hand.Lover GF.I've no idea why am I feeling like an emo-nemo now. Plugged my earphones, listening to the songs GF sent me. The lyrics are super saddening and it's so apt. My tears can't stop falling. It's drama I know.

Y'know. It's times like this I need a hug from GF and tell me it's fine and she'll be around no matter what. No we won't drift apart even if school starts. You know how important you are to me. The things we've been through. The times you saw me cry and stuff like that. The countless number of times we laughed and got high together. C'mon, you know some friends are useless being angry or disappointed over. But I'm not that kinda person and much less to say, I'm not even your friend. I'm your lover girl. (: I love you loads GF. When I said you're no.1, don't ever tell me you don't mind being no.2

I'm sorry for not being able to stay by your side anymore. I'm sorry I can't accept my phone not ringing for the whole day. I'm sorry I don't like the feeling of being semi-existent. It's not your fault that you miss me.

I cant believe you had the nerve to say the things you said. They hurt so bad that they ended our relationship. I cant believe it. Oh, how I wish things would have happened so differently. I tried to save it so many times but you still couldnt see. YOU kept insisting and resisting that you would not fall again. And now you trying to tell me that you are sorry. And you are trying to come back home. You are telling me you really need me, crying, begging, both knees are on the floor. But baby I dont wanna try dont wanna try dont wanna try no more. YOU keep insisting when you know our love is out the door. Dont wanna try dont wanna try cuz all we do is fight and say the things that hurt so bad to when we both begin to cry. Dont wanna try dont wanna try I bout just had enough, it’s been a rough road. Baby just let it go. Dont wanna try dont wanna try dont wanna try no more. Tell me what's the use of holding on when all we do is hurt our love. YOU and I had many conversations on the telephone. Talks about one day we having a place of our own. Wake up in the morning and have breakfast ready on the table. But all of that just seems so far away from me. Had to wake up and face reality. It all just seem too good to be true after all you put me through.

One know's not the depth of his love till the hour of separation. I don't like this logic. Really. I hate it. It's why guys are such jerks. It's why they don't cherish you when they have you.

But I still like Brown Rice, Whole Grains and Long Island Tea Without Coke. Y'know what I mean. For what I think is worth.

Updates:

I just got back from m'sia. Had loads of fun there, enjoyed the food and everything, especially the nightlife with my cousins.

I haven't slept on my own bed for a week. After m'sia, I went over to bf's place to snuggle up with him, then DoubleO and St James with gf and then back to her crib. This is like the first night I'm sitting down at my own place after so so so long. I miss home. =x

Okay, the big news is. After 6 years of long hair, I've decided to part with it. So, I went down to Monsoon today and I felt like an animal in a zoo or something. This pro hairstylist was cutting my hair and all the apprentices and other staff were like surrounding me, being so fascinated over the way he cuts and stuff like that. I know, I don't understand hairstyling. I'm sorry.

Yeah, he cut the inner layer of my hair to a FUCKING short bob and left the outer layer long so he could snip it off on Sunday during the show at St James in front of everybody. Oh man, I think I'm the coolest, most courageous and most stylish woman in Singapore today. Yes, Clare has a bob now. AND bf's damn happy about it. I have no idea why.

Pictures will be up soon but I won't show you guys pictures with me in a bob YET. Bear with me. (: I'm kinda tired after all this hectic lifestyle. It's about time for me to curl up in a corner and rest. Cheers!

P.S: I LOVE MANDYTEO. Darling waited for me for 4 hours while i was cutting my hair and she was walking around novena all alone. I'm touched. I love pepper lunch with her, taking train with her, clubbing with her, drinking.. whatsoever-we-can-do-together.

Erm, I'm really losing my patience with Blogger. So.. no pictures for now. Oh man, I love my girlfriend. For 2 nights we were drinking and playing mahjong at the same time. Just that the night before was a nightmare. It was a major total overdose over at Joey's house. Woohoo. I love the way we stood side by side and puked our guts out man. Your's was super liquified, mine's like super solidified with blood (I think I'm dying). It was a classic moment. I like. (: I think Cordon Bleu, Heineken, Red Bull and icewater is a good combination. SUPERB.

Last night was simply chillax. I think I'm more like a bartender. Fall in love with my bar counter's alcohol alrdy huh.

ying yi: That was a little random. (: I don't have much obvious scars on my legs and I have no idea how to remove them. Are you referring to facial cleanser? I use Clarins Cleansing Milk and Clarins eye make up remover before using Biotherm's facial foam. If that's what you wanna know. (:

Alrights. It's time to sleep before my darling girlfriend starts her nagging.