LONG ISLAND TEA WITHOUT COKE please.

Thursday, April 17, 2008 ♥

It's Momsy's 51st birthday. So, this post would start with a HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY!

Dear Mummy, you've been through shits with me, seen me turn rebellious and tame again after a span of 5 years or so. You've tolerated all kinds of nonsense that I've given you. No matter how my words or actions broke your heart or how I caused your tears to fall cos' of my hurtful craps, you never ever gave up on me. And here I am now, listening to your's and Dad's advice. I'm proving those who once jeered and looked down at me wrong. Even though whatever I've achieved isn't as good as compared to others, you guys still think that I've the greatest accomplishment in life. Which is to acknowledge my mistakes and take a bold step forward to amend them.

And so, we made our way to Serangoon Gardens for Sushi Tei.

Kaminabe

And the cannot do without chicken meat.

Assorted sushi.

All time favourite salmon and yellow-tail sashimi.

Katsu Curry Don

Yakitori Don

Tempuras

Cha Soba

Happy Mummy

Greedy Pop

Who is also irritating. But I still love him. Yes, I'm a complete nua piece of shiat today.

Presents for my beloved Mom. 3 roses means 'we love you'. Diamonds means 'forever'. So we love you forever. I WROTE HER THAT. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT. HAHAHA.

Hey Honeybun, let's work hard and feed our baby joint account until it's fat. And soon enough, we'll enjoy the sweet fruits of our labour.

And, I found this pretty lil thing at my void deck while I was smoking with Xueli this afternoon. Oh man, I think he got lost. I so want a bulldog but I just found out they are not allowed in Singapore. ):

AND YESSAHHH!!!! I'VE GOT DARLING JO IN MY NEW CLASS. FUCK, THIS IS GOOD SHIT MAN.

Saturday, April 12, 2008 ♥

Hello. I'm a good girl today, staying at home and not going anywhere. BF's still sleeping after 11 hours. It's 6pm now by the way. Came home around 7am from BF's. Went over to stay after Sheesha session last night. Found some expired photos in my handphone.

Revealing my inner child and the uncontrollable urge to doodle. So I aimed BF's toe while he was lying on the couch. Meet Ah Gong

And his GF Ah Siao.

And BF's pretty starry mouse.

Went to Marina square yesterday after his school for shopping. Ate at Cavana then at Changing Appetites.

Sat, facing th Esplanade with Shafiq, Shira and friends. My pretty boy!

I think he don't like taking photos with me.

The other couple.

He insists that I cannot delete this photo cos' his eyes looks big.

And we look like aquarium fishes.

Hello pretty.

Fuck, I want dimple too.

Taking a proper picture together was impossible. Cos' I was busy fighting Fiq off.

And cos' my BF's falling asleep.

Hello Chun, the act candid guy.

He's really tired.

You see! I told you he doesn't like taking photos with me.

And I got snapped looking like a dragon.

Ah, sweetness.

Woohoo. The guys' bitching session.

Almost reunion.

Something that we can never achieve with any others. Being so close and so comfortable with every other. Friendship is not all about going out and having fun or physical company. It's the emotional and spiritual bond within too.

BF JEFF: YOU'RE A BLOODY PIG. LOOK AT THE TIME NOW AND YOU'RE STILL NOT UP. OH DAMN. But, I still love you as much.

Okay, it's time to drive my Mom to my Grandma's. Ciao.

Friday, April 11, 2008 ♥

Knowing too much ain't that good at times. Ignorance is bliss. But to start being ignorant or feigning ignorance is irritating. Life's not always about oneself yet most of the human beings live for themselves and in their own world. What's importance worth when you're the only one acknowledging it? I don't think that's called importance anymore, I call it selfishness. It takes a million lies to cover ONE lie. And it will hurt a million times MORE to find out all those lies instead of finding out just ONE lie. Again, the tension of opposites.

BF JEFF: Hello my king, I love you so deeply too. You make me feel like the most blissful soul on planet earth. You make me feel like I'm the most significant person in your life. And it's nice to know I'm the only other girl that you care for the most and treats the best other than your younger sister. Though we crap alot about meat sticks and cream pies, we both know that our relationship is not as superficial as how some perceives it to be.

It's not about having fun, it's not about having someone around for company, it's not about physicality, in other words, sex. It's about finally finding a soulmate. Someone whom I don't mind him knowing every single little details about me. Someone I don't mind sharing my stupid childish random thoughts, my super duper throw-face past because he will not laugh at me. Instead, he'll listen patiently or nod in acceptance that this is who I am and my past is what makes me Clare now. And you did it. You make me feel so comfortable around you cos' you love me for who I am and not who you want me to be. And that's about all I've been asking for. (If you remember the first time you asked me on msn what if you fall in love serious with me.) This has been my reply and it will always be.

I'll continue playing my part to make you feel like you're the most blissful soul on planet earth other than me. Smile more instead of being frustrated over stuff cos' you said my smile never fails to keep you going. Continue living the sweet life we're having now. Like, sitting through long, chilly bus rides together, sharing one super big jacket, plugged with our individual headphones
and texting each other diabetic and stupid stuff though we're just beside each other. Both of us grinning from ear to ear, giggling like some high school girls, looking like two sillyheads. And even when I'm not beside you, I'll make sure you smile that silly-ly at your phone at my text, make sure you laugh at some stupid crap that I've said though you're all alone on the bus or walking to somewhere or wherever. I wanna let you and the whole world around you know that you're loved. And what can feel better than knowing that you're being loved and appreciated that much by someone whom you treat as your own significant other?

What's between us, will be between us. Who cares about superficial opinions when we both know what we have between you and me? Loves, anytime with you is just simply great too!

Stars fade but I'll linger around.

Thursday, April 10, 2008 ♥

NABEI TURTLE. FUCK

Still re-reading my Tuesdays with Morrie. Then I came across words that got me thinking.

"Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn't. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted. It's a tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band. And most of us live somewhere in the middle."

Which side win? You all would ask. And it told me that love always win. Of course, I don't interpret it as the love for my boyfriend or whatsoever. It's the love for all those around me. The love for all beings in my life. The love for a spouse/bf should never be compared to any other relationships. Never, ever.

"So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy going things they think are important. This is because they are chasing the wrong things. They way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."

Creating something that gives me a purpose and meaning. Hmmmm.

"The most important thing in life is to know how to give out love and let it come in."

Well.... speechless for this. It's about time for me to shut the fuck up.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008 ♥

I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND HARDCORE AH!

Been spending quality time with Jeff. Went on a very special date as if it was our first. I even set a theme for our dressing. Anyway, we went on an Adventure Dinner and I'm not telling you guys how it works.

Khansama Tandoori Restaurant located somewhere at Little India.

Restaurant's promotion campaign.

Walaoey, $20 bucks just for hard liquor brought in from outside.

And my Boyfriend was busy texting I dunno who. I bet he has a lover outside somewhere. You bitch watch out.

YOU SEE YOU SEE! YOU GET WHAT I MEAN!

His try at macro shots.

Legendary, all-time favourite Teh Tarik. This one is with Indian herbs.

Cheese Naam and Onion Naam.

Chicken something Masala. We had the mutton one too. Shiok.

And so, we went on long walks, had serious talks. Been spending time at my house or going down to town to repair his lappy these few days.

Long, cold bus rides rocks.

TEHKAIWEN: I DON'T CARE. I NOT GONNA MEET YOU TILL MAY. HAHAHAHAHA

Sunday, April 06, 2008 ♥

I didn't say hello to you cos' I know we're both afraid of the awkwardness.

"Now I know how important minutes are." is cos' of the minutes that I made you wait.

"Finally understood the meaning of 'importance-ness'" is not towards Jeff. It's towards you. And I've told you countless times that a bf-gf relationship should not be compared to the friendship between us. It's totally different. Yes I love you but yes, I love Jeff too. But the whole point is, the type of relationship between me and him is different from between me and you. My boyfriend DON'T mean every single thing to me. I know Jeff will see this but so? The truth is OTHER than Jeff, there are so many more important things around me. And the same applies to you and any others. OTHER than you, there are ALSO so many important things around me.

You waited for almost half hour for all of us and I thought Derrick reached prata shop and he's with you already. That's why I will take 20 mins to go down. I saw Derrick's sms at 11.52pm and he said he's at the chess area. I took it for granted that he was reaching prata shop and I didn't know that he was sitting at the chess area. THAT'S WHY.

Fine, I'm speechless for once and I have nothing to say anymore. Since 4 months ago, I've been trying whatever means and ways that I can think of to make you happy. I'm sorry that I've failed to do so. I'm sorry I have a boyfriend. I'm sorry that I don't have as much time as I used to have for you. I'm sorry for whatever misunderstandings. I'm sorry we've drifted apart. In your words, we've drifted all the way to Moscow. Yet something somewhere inside me tells me this is not the end of our whatever ship. Cos' I know I don't wanna lose you.

Then you'll say you'll lose when it comes to arguing with me cos' you will never win me with words. Now I can tell you. I don't wanna argue further. As what I've said. Speechless. After this post, I've nothing much to say to defend myself or anything anymore.

It's as what you've said. We need time to cool down. We'll talk, when you decide to talk to me. So goodbye, for now.

And, it still hurts.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008 ♥

Some random shots of stuffs in my room.

And that includes my broken toenail which made my toe super sexy now. I know I'm sick but I can't help it.

The view from my room.

And my super handy Topshop shopping bag.

So, on the 29th, I went over to M'sia for some tombsweeping thing. That whole hill/slope/land is only like 10% of the population of those residing under the soil. Damn, the whole mountain is filled with dead bodies. Must be very fertile man the land.

This whole space = ONE tombstone

So, under the goddamn sun

And the BLUE blue sky,

My family started preparations for the ceremony, whatsoever.

That's 1st uncle

3rd uncle

4th and handsome uncle

And there you have it, the 4 of them. Supposedly, there should be 5 of them. But yeah. DIDN'T YOU ALL REALIZE THEY ALL HAVE THAT BIG NOSE. DAMN, WHY IS MINE LIKE A BUTTON MUSHROOM?!

It must be my MOM's genes. Goddammit.Finally, it begins.Offerings.They even have LV nowadays. I shall launch a new series of Hermes handbags too. Or do older folks like LV only? GrandmaBurn burn burn.While waitingAnd I got too bored. So I went around taking photos of tombstones.And tyres.And rims.And my fat Pop.Ah ah ah, argue argue argue. Then the other 2 must be laughing at them.Left that freaky decomposing corpse filled mountain.Made our way to Kajang for M'sia super famous satay.Look at the empty plates. TAMADE, 150 sticks of satays gone just like that. I swear upon the growth of my hair, the mutton satay rocks big time.

Okay, end of story. I didn't catch any proper sleep since Sunday night. This is very bad. I'm becoming a zombie. I needa sleep especially after all those exercise throughout the days.

There are some things that I don't wanna remember.
Once bitten, twice shy. You're the one who told me this.
Ironically, you're the one who proved it to me.