1. I blog what I like
2. No flaming
3. I appreciate friendliness
4. Fuck off if you don't like my attitude

ONLY IF YOU LIKE TO READ MY RANDOM RANTING POSTS

Been thinking alot recently, especially when it comes to relationships and stuff. I know it isn't the right time to think about all these due to all my over-the-edge-pressing deadlines and looming examinations drawing near. But you see, in his terms, shit happens. And precisely because shit happens, they led me thinking.

A whole load of shit has been happening and bestie, isn't having a great time herself either. My heart goes all out to her. But she is the one person whom made me believe a strong relationship can pull through anything.

I've always been thinking why most couples will feel awkward when either one of them keeps quiet but reassures that he/she is not thinking of anything negative or that he/she will not burst out crying in 0.172 seconds. I've always treated my relationship in a way whereby I know I can keep quiet yet feel at ease beside him, hoping that he will feel that way too. It is because I believe that there's no gap between us that we are so close as to just sit beside each other, simply relishing the presence of the other. But of course nobody will do this on every single date luh!

Let's just put it this way, in my relationship, I see no gap needed to be filled with words/sounds because silence is not awkward. It's the serenity, peace with oneself and the other, knowing that the both of us is as much in love as the other is. In reality, some will probably term it as "communication breakdown".

But communication may not be a good thing afterall. I've always thought I can express myself and put it through to the other person in a way I meant it to be. After awhile, I came to this realization that,

• "Clare fucking sucks at it"
• "Clare's chioce of words fucking sucks"
• "Clare fucking can only think for herself and tries to enforce her perspective onto me"
• "Clare is stubborn"
• "Clare can probably write an essay rather than talk/text"
  

And all along, I am only voicing out my views instead of enforcing them onto someone else because I know for a fact that perspectives cannot be enforced or incorporated into another. I've always thought my command of language is not that bad. But I cannot explain why I cannot do this.

Have I digressed too much? I've been reflecting for days about my relationship, Clare as a GF, Clare as a person. And sometimes, I feel like I will gradually lose the real Clare as a person because I want to change for the one that I love. Because anything is worth it right? As long as BF will love me more, blablabla. But that is bullshit. That is being totally naive.

I know BF accepts me for who I am and I'm really thankful for that. Okay good game, my train of thought zoomed outta my mind.

I'm quite blank now cos' I haven't gotten enough sleep. I don't know why I'm going on typing but yeah. I'm sorry to whoever is reading this now cos' it's kinda pointless. I should go rant in my livejournal instead.

The whole point of this stupid ranting post is that,
" We are so close to each other honey, even just by sitting beside each other, there will be this inexplicably unique feeling between. Words is to understand what the other person is thinking and of course for basic communication. Words should not be used to cover up a silent awkwardness. "

Okay fine, the subject matter is: BF and me is that close to an extent we do not need irrelevant stuffs to fill any gap cos' there's no gap to start with. And I'm very happy about it.

Didn't bother about this space for the past week cos I've been really busy. Last minute CNY shopping together with all the deadlines and shit. Anyway, since I have the photos with me and the time to spare now...

Miss Big Square Jaw feat Mr Puny Oval Eyes on the first day of CNY at his Grandma's.


I know, BF should stop acting cute.
And fucking stop flexing dimples and nostrils.
Day 1 was boring. Same old family thing, played mj at Grandma's, played BlackJack after mj, win finish money, get out and have fun. Bestie and I met up and since we were driving around aimlessly, we decided to get some fresh air.
But apparently, the place was filled with idiotic people who have nothing better to do than to picnic there and make hell lotsa noise. Drove over to DblO, wanted to chill on drinking but got free drinks from the people working there. So I drank Xueli's share too cos' she's gonna be behind the wheel. Besides, if she's the one drinking, I'll have a hard time. HHAHAHA. bitch.

So I came home looking super unglam as compared to the start of the day.Then came day 2 which was relaxed.


Went over to my relatives with BF before heading down to Joey's with bestie joining us. OVERNIGHT MJ! Woohoo. Been a long time since. Anyway, here's Chivas, that hyperactive lil baby I haven't hugged in the longest of time. He was damn shagged that day.
Roll roll roll, rolling while sleeping is goddamnit cute.
Yes, as expected. Day 2 ended with me looking chui again. But it's 7am! You can't blame me!
Apparently when I left his Grandma's on day 1, his Grandma asked his sister "Your er4 sao3 (2nd sister-in-law) go already huh?" and she asked his Mom, "Where is your xi2 fu4 (daughter-in-law)?". All these are in accordance to what I've heard from both BF and lil sister.

Honestly, I am openly very shy about it but I am also secretly smug. MUAHAHAHA. But still, those terms will not come till years later, as planned. (:

Making it short and sweet.

Random stuff:

• I did my hair on Sunday and I feel so light now. But I'm gonna change the colour after CNY.
• BF has red hair too, in accordance with me and CNY. Yeah right.
• I kicked one of the chairs in BizPark yesterday and my big toe hurts
• I kicked some hard object in Parkway.
• I strongly believe that my toenail will have a blood clot and crack open AGAIN. I think it's an annual thing. Fuck.
• The crack on the nail of my thumb is getting longer and longer.
• I pray I won't be nail-less for CNY.
• BF does not know how to appreciate the time he has. Can't he just sleep with all that free time! Doesn't he know how much I want all that time for myself also. Basket.
  
• THESE PEOPLE DON'T KNOW HOW HAPPY THEIR LIVES ARE!
  
• ENVY.
  

School shit:

• Have been camping in Sports Com or outside LTs with my laptop.
• Either studying hardcore or rushing to meet deadlines.
• 2 deadlines this Friday.
• 1 test on Saturday.
• 1 deadline next Friday.
• 1 deadline next next Friday.
• 1 deadline 1 day after next next Friday = Valentines' Day
• 1 test on Valentines' Day.
• 1 week later, start of papers.
• HOW CAN THEY CLAIM TO BE GIVING US STUDY WEEKS WHEN WE'RE BUSY MEETING DEADLINES!

I am busy completing IP. It's 4am and I've gotta wake up at 9am. Why am I doing this? Why?

Finally, a weekend to shop, pack my house, spend time with my love and most importantly, rest.
Been busy doing projects, having project meetings. All I've been doing for the past week is just related to school school and school. The deadlines are too horribly cramped for us to meet. From the start of January, I've been rushing to meet deadlines.

Recap a lil, it all starts from new year. YOU TELL ME! Who in the right mind will set a deadline right after new year!

• 2nd January - Deadline for Advanced Civ Pro, Divorce.
• 7th January - Deadline for Wills
• 12th January - Presentation for IP
• 16th January - Deadline for Advanced Civ Pro, Accident Claims.

In between the 2nd - 16th, I've been trying to settle the IP and insurance projects. Which is crap because I've this particular someone in my group. It's okay if she does her work. But I don't understand what rights she has to threaten to be nasty, when she don't even do a single shit?!

• 19th January - Meeting for IP
• 20th January - Meeting for Insurance
• 23rd January - Deadline for IP and Insurance projects 10am and 5pm
• 24th January - Assessment for Arbitration

22nd I don't need to sleep already. 23rd I tell you, I sure die. I will camp outside the LT with my lappy from 7am to 4pm. Unfortunately, I will have to face the same person for that whole period of time.

You people see AH. 23rd clear all projects by right should be damn happy go out play like one crazy bitch right. Or go for my CNY shopping which I reckon will be delayed if I can't find anything this weekend. SAD TO SAY, law lecturers apparently don't wanna let us go out and have fun! 24th should be a day for us to buy clothes or buy CNY stuff what right! Prepare for reunion dinner on 25th. BUT BUT BUT, I freaking have to go back for a test.

Good job Sirs, keep it up.

Thou shalt not give up!

I'll come back and rant again. For now, I'll continue stoning till honey finish work!

Self directed plot.

Mr GungHo trying very hard to act cool.


Conducting an orchestra with his cigarette.
Then he got down on two knees to propose to me on this very special day. With a cigg.

Basket.

Alright alright, I'm bored cos' I'm suffering from insomnia now. The first picture was candid actually.

BF came over in the morning while I was happily sleeping. Prepared to get outta the house for some sun! Snapped this shot while waiting for Daddy to send us to the train station. Honey's not happy. =x Probably cos' I slept too long.


So, he evolved into a big baddie. He said he wanted to go home and didn't want to bring me out to play.
And that made me very sad cos' I was all prepared.


We prepared food the previous night for Sentosa so obviously he was kidding when he said he wanted to go home and sleep. My never ending treasure bag with all kinda things.


My moo moo water bottle that BF got when I asked him to buy it at GV a few days back.


Settled down on our picnic mat which he insists is ugly. I think it's quite nice though.

And I was seriously a happy lil kid. Haven't been out to relax since I don't know when.




And so, I stripped outta my clothes damn fast.


He's too shy to show his nipples.




I greatly enjoy such serenity and peace. Spending our whole day there without worries, chatting about anything and everything. Playing categories, bla bla.


Being next to each other, enjoying the other's presence. That's what's important.


Happy Anniversary my love. (:


P.S: On a side note, if you look close enough, BF's eyes are nice though they are small.


Look at his eyelashes! Or is it just my photography skills? (:

Going through 2008 with you.

2008 was a year that passed like a honeymoon. Sweet and smooth yet unforgettable.

There were many setbacks here and there. Lil' disagreements that we had, big fights that we've been through. All those tears and heartache, was so intense till this very day, I can feel it lurking somewhere.

These heartaches are reminders of the past and the mistakes that we've both made. What's learning without failure? What's a relationship without tears?

After a whole year, you're still that very special one love.

The one who loves me more than anything else in this world.
The one who is able to make me feel like the most important person in his life.
The one who doesn't care how unglam I look or how stupid my actions are.
The one who still loves me all the same no matter what stupid things I've did.
The one who wants me to be with him 24/7.
The one who wants to hug me to sleep every night.
The one who offers his arms to support me at my weakest.
The one who has eyes for me at my ugliest.
The one who won't expect anything back for whatever good he has done for me.
The one who gives me all his life and doesn't need anything in return.
The one who is willing to receive and keep all the love that I'm willing to give.
And the list goes on...

But definitely, you're the only one that's in my life, the one that I love as much. The one who is able to make me cry while typing this post with an ultra big lemon in my throat. That's how powerful you are, being asleep yet able to have such a huge impact over my emotions.

HoneyHubs, I love you but I have no idea how to put them into words that would be equivalent to how I feel for you. Words would not be able to justify as much cos' we both know our love, is just so overwhelming.

I know this came a lil' late but anyhow...

I love you honey, let's step into 2009 and face all differences and difficulties together. It's gonna be a year filled with changes and adaptations to be made. But I know, there's nothing we can't solve together. Even if it requires tears and shoutings and pushings and tuggings and packing up (TOUCH WOOD) and ignoring each other, we both know that we have a goal to look forward to and we'll work hard reaching the goal together. Ahhhh! I love you hardcore! (:

P.S: I know it's so late I'm left with 3 hrs to sleep. So, I'll prolly crash once I lie on your bed after school. You know it's worth it la huh. (:

The most fulfilling thing in 2008. My internship at TKSP.
For some peculiar reason, I miss working 8 to 5. For some peculiar reason again, I think I kinda miss TKSP.

That teeny weeny cup of chinese tea.


The peace I get when I sit in the room and work.
The times when I can go casual.
The late night OT which I like cos' I can work better this way.
My drawer filled with my stuff. Anyway, Break's a good option for smokers with budget.
The pile of work that I have a love-hate relationship with.
How I get to chat on Msn with Debbie when she's sitting right outside my room.
My messy table with all my unnecessary stuff.
Entrance into the serenity.
Mr Rave's table. He's a great mentor and a great friend to talk to.
The JOL table under the super turbo centralized air con.
My crazily messy table.

Now I think I'm a workaholic. I need to work I need to work. Studying's a different thing altogether. ):

The always random and extreme me.

Being all "yew xiu". Refined you call it?
And ultra loony at times.

But I have a loony BF that goes crazy over food.
And he says I have to emphasize on my blog how much I love him. Which I will later.
And my Mama bought me a gingerbread man whose legs are gone now.
ANYWAY.

Helloooo people! (: I know my blog is dead, so I'm back with annoying photos of really bad quality. Sony phone died on me but was revived today and I forgot my camera on X'mas day. So I guess that explains.

We were very into my MioTv cos' I have this 2year free access to all Video on Demand. That's about how I spent 2 weeks of my holiday. Watching movies with my love through the nights. But he's always busy fumbling around.


Busy
Still busy
Still very busy
And there I am comfortably tucked into my new ultra big and comfy sofa.


X'mas day. We were supposed to have a theme but decided that it's too difficult to carry out so I guess we'll do it some other time. Like maybe our anniversary huh?


Real scenario. Hopped onto a cab that day and started camwhoring.
I got bored with it after awhile and decided not to entertain him. FYI, these photos are less than half of what we've taken.
And then, my phone rang and I was there happily chatting with Xueli. He was okay with it at first.
So he continued the camwhoring alone with me entertaining him now and then.
He got a lil mad after awhile and wanted to bite me.
But I still didn't bother about him in the end and he was quite affected by it.
On a very random note, we had escargots and they were superb.
So we ended up here! Bet you guys don't know where.


It was our virgin trip there.
I was excited and I have no idea why I looked so happy.
But someone was struggling for the first half hour or so.

He looked soooo comical I couldn't stop laughing at him.
This was taken while he was trying to keep his balance. I think.
After much training from me, I decided it was time to let him try going a round by himself.
SPOT THE WOBBLY PENGUIN!
But he came back safely though, then it was my turn and off I went. I was too fast for the camera. HAHAHAHA.
My glamorous comeback.
Okay, maybe not so glam after all. I smashed into his handphone.
Classis, pouts. Laugh all you want. It's a Happy New Year afterall!