Sunday, April 06, 2008 ♥
I didn't say hello to you cos' I know we're both afraid of the awkwardness.
"Now I know how important minutes are." is cos' of the minutes that I made you wait.
"Finally understood the meaning of 'importance-ness'" is not towards Jeff. It's towards you. And I've told you countless times that a bf-gf relationship should not be compared to the friendship between us. It's totally different. Yes I love you but yes, I love Jeff too. But the whole point is, the type of relationship between me and him is different from between me and you. My boyfriend DON'T mean every single thing to me. I know Jeff will see this but so? The truth is OTHER than Jeff, there are so many more important things around me. And the same applies to you and any others. OTHER than you, there are ALSO so many important things around me.
You waited for almost half hour for all of us and I thought Derrick reached prata shop and he's with you already. That's why I will take 20 mins to go down. I saw Derrick's sms at 11.52pm and he said he's at the chess area. I took it for granted that he was reaching prata shop and I didn't know that he was sitting at the chess area. THAT'S WHY.
Fine, I'm speechless for once and I have nothing to say anymore. Since 4 months ago, I've been trying whatever means and ways that I can think of to make you happy. I'm sorry that I've failed to do so. I'm sorry I have a boyfriend. I'm sorry that I don't have as much time as I used to have for you. I'm sorry for whatever misunderstandings. I'm sorry we've drifted apart. In your words, we've drifted all the way to Moscow. Yet something somewhere inside me tells me this is not the end of our whatever ship. Cos' I know I don't wanna lose you.
Then you'll say you'll lose when it comes to arguing with me cos' you will never win me with words. Now I can tell you. I don't wanna argue further. As what I've said. Speechless. After this post, I've nothing much to say to defend myself or anything anymore.
It's as what you've said. We need time to cool down. We'll talk, when you decide to talk to me. So goodbye, for now.
And, it still hurts.