Tuesday, January 29, 2008 ♥
I don't believe in going one big round to get a point across to someone. So here I am.
Hello Baby,
From this very moment, I'm gonna shuddup about any single shit that happens between us. No Willie, no Derrick Ng. Heart to heart talk buddy whatsoever, I don't give a damn.
"If you think that telling another person out stuff will release the pain and stress that you've got ..." So you know I've got pain and stress also la?
"Replying short messages to you doesn't mean that I don't care and cherish the friendship between us..." What have I done to make you think this way? In a way where you believe that I think you don't care and cherish the friendship between us. Did this phrase 'don't care and cherish' come out from my mouth? Did you ever hear it from me personally? Or did whoever who told you those whatsoever stories hear it from me personally or did he just inferred from whatever I've said huh?
You said I always didn't ask you. Are you sure I didn't? Not even once? Turn the tables around my dear. Have you asked me?
I've heard stuff I didn't like to hear from people outside our group of friends. I told you for your good. But what did I get? A 'sorry' after a flare up.
I've tried my best to cheer you up whenever you are down, cry and beg you not to cry, talk cock with you when you're bored, find topics to talk about or just talk nonsense whenever you reply me one-word stuff, put in time, effort, money, strength, feelings.
If you realise, it's not about what I believe anymore. It's about what you choose to believe now. I've always believed that you were someone worth my everything that's why I do so much without hesitation. Tell me, when did I ever go against my belief? Tell me, who the fuck told you I don't believe? Tell me, who the fuck said I don't trust what you have in our friendship?
You tell me yourself, when have I ever been angry with you? No matter what you give, no matter what you do. When have I been really pissed with you?
If you think that some other friends are so much better, I'm not talking about the guys, you can go try your luck. But I'll advice you not to disappoint and hurt yourself. After all that we've been through and all that has happened, I dare to say no friends would do what I've done for you. A short lil 4 months since we've become as close as superglue whatsoever, I've done stuff I've never done for anyone before.
Our friendship is not measured by the time we spend together. Not measured by how many times we go clubbing together, the money spent on each other, the number of times we meet up, the length of sms cos all of that is fucking superficial. It's the fucking feelings that are already invested in it. If there's a way to measure feelings, I dare to say I'll win everyone, anyone.
Since everyone is so unhappy with it. Since there are so many stories with extra ingredients going around. Since you are so unhappy over it also. I'll end it. I'll fuck off from everyone's life. No more buddies whatsoever. No more talks whatsoever.
Since you guys wanna think this way, I'll act like I'm someone outside the whole group of friends. I'll be Jeff's girlfriend instead of you guys' friend. There's a fucking difference geddit?