Saturday, July 08, 2006 ♥
it's time i should change my blogskin. haa. i'm not absolutely in a good mood toda. at first i was, but now, i dont even know how i actually feel.
i'm very happy that you remember the details of our relationship. from the way day that we met, till the day we started. haa, it made me realise. everything that i did, was worthwhile afterall.
actually i dont mind running around. from my house to school then to his house then back home. as long as we're both happy. does it matter? i thought that i would be happy when he is. but all the way till this point in time, i realised that it's only wishing thinking on my part. how naive am i to think that i'm so selfless?! to be able to accept that i'm running around just for him, arrive at his house asap after i finish school. doing all that and what do i get back in return? a few hours sitting there looking at him sleep. sighs. i dont deny that its nice sometimes to stare at someone u love sleeping peacefully. but, i feel so taken for granted. it seems like after the previous time i told him how i felt, he still dont get my drift. or maybe he did, just that he changed back to his normal self? it doesnt matter if i go everyday just to see him sleep, buy food for him , slack or whatsoever. but, after he wakes up and everything, he'll just eat and prepare to meet joey and others. then at that time, which is always around 8+, i'll go home to finish up my school work. he'll be out somewhere having fun. then i'll be like.. ' what does he treats me as? go his house do nothing, then go out and forgets me '
we usually chat on the phone late into the night, but it seems like in this whole week, we NEVER did. our life is so different from each other now, i'm back to the routine life cause of school. you're still stuck in the ' night awake, afternoon slp' thing.we're so opposite and i feel so far from you. i dont know why larh.
yeah, so what if i'm borned strong willed? i'll have days when i feel down also right. i'll have days when i feel so weak to continue whatever i was doing, days that i'll be breaking down. maybe today is one of these days. i'm tiring myself too much since school started. and i dont think i can hang in there that long. can you be the one encouraging me and supporting me instead of adding on to what i already have to carry?
thanks for your msg, i still love you too.